I am not my Mom

It’s been a while since my last post. And in-between, many things happened. One of these is playing a host to a visitor from the United States.

Our visitor is a black American girl aging 14 years old. Her mother, also a black American, was born in the Philippines but speaks Tagalog fluently. Siyempre, to break the ice, the usual questions about herself including whether or not understands and speaks the Filipino. Her response was on the negative. A result of recklessness or for lack of something to say I asked, “But I heard your mother speak in Tagalog …” And before I added “didn’t she teach you?” she cut my question and said “I am not my mom”.

Tama naman. Why should we look for the mother in the person of her child?

O siguro kitang mga Filipino, lalo na an mga Bicolano, arog lang talaga kaan. Hinihiling ta an gurang sa saiyang aki. Ini-expect ta na mahiro an aki base sa mga nahihiling ta sa saiyang magurang asin kun dai na iyan nakukua, frustrated kita. Garo su mga kasabihan kaito na “basta Polanguenia, salonera” o kaya basta hale sa Oas o kaya Bacacay, iniisip tulos na may tugang na padi. An apod kaan sa English, stereotyping.

The problem, such a culture stunts the personality and psychology of the children. Dai narerealizar kan aki an tunay niyang potensiyal dahil pirming hinahanap saiya an ladawan kan saiyang ama o ina. An siring man na kultura igwa man na epekto sa kagabsan lalo na sa komunidad. Dai mina-asenso an komunidad dahil dai nabibilog an self-confidence kan aki. Bako arog kaitong bisita mi na very proud pa na sabihon na “I am not my mom” and by implication garo man sana sinasabi niya na “so what kung tatao siya magtagalog ako dai?”.

This is just some sort of a reflection. Sana makatabang sa mga tugang niyato na maisip man na an mga aki na nahihiling ninda bako an saindang mga magurang.

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5 thoughts on “I am not my Mom

  1. Totoo yan “We are not our mom” Your reflection is somehow related to mine. They tell me that I am a carbon copy of my mom, yes a carbon copy only but not my mom.

  2. In my opinion, oki yan sa mga pinoy na magulang kung ‘positibo’ ang dating ng mensahe, pero kung ‘negatibo’ ang dala ng mensahe hindi yata magandang gayahin ng mga pinoy… consider the ff anecdote:

    Anak, 14-yrs old ka pa lang, bakit buntis na you. Alam mo si mama mo nagpakasal muna sa edad na 27 bago siya na nabuntis ….. yeah, I know that, but I am not my mom, you know!


    Anak, bakit naging prosti ka, di ba bad yan? Alam mo si mama mo isang edukada na tao, isang ulirang ina at may takot sa dios …. yeah, I now that, but I am not my mom!


    Anak, bakit napaka-salbahe ng ugali mo, wala kang galang sa mga nakatatanda sayo, eh bakit hindi mo gayahin ang mama mo, napakabait at magalang na tao….. yeah, I know, but I am not my mom!


    Madam Gloria, bakit napakasinungaling mong tao, gahaman ka sa salapi at mandaraya ka sa election, kapit tuko ka sa pwesto…. Alam mo yung nanay mong si Eva Macapagal ng nabubuhay pa siya sa mundo, isa siyang napakamabuting tao at isang huwaran na ina sa Pilipinas…… Gloria answered,,,, Alam ko po yun, but the problem is, I AM NOT MY MOM!


  3. That’s right attybenji! I like the last one the most.
    “I’m not my mom”-or my dad- is a typical adolescent response to such situations. It was just a bad timing for our friend J.A. Carrizo asking this girl at age 14. If she were 20 or so she would have answered differently. At this age, the young person orients her/himself more with his peer and other media idols than with her/his own parents. This is normal in her case, nothing to worry about.
    I worry more with this Madam Gloria. It is pathological at this age to be fixated to the adolescent stage- and to be president of a nation it is disastrous! Such a leader stunts the growth of the whole nation- except the opposition.

  4. I discovered your internet site via an ask jeeves search of all places! I can’t believe that internet site is still around! Well, thanks for the post. I will save it for future reference.” I am not my Mom” post in Bik-Lish” is NICE!! That title is perfect. I’ll keep coming back for sure in case you post more. Keep it up! Donn Hanley

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